Happy New Year, You.
|The Fool, Frieda Harris|
The article I linked to gives the top ten resolutions made for 2012. They're not necessarily bad goals to have, but a lot of them feel like they would just fall flat on their faces. If you're not accustomed to the changes you would have to make in order to obtain any of your goals, you're probably going to have a rough time with accomplishing them. Another problem is that people seem to have a tendency to try to jump straight to the goal rather than take a look at all of the little steps it might take to get to that goal. Furthermore, people have a tendency to condition themselves into such mindset that even a relatively simple thing to accomplish is jinxed right out of the gate. They're so used to this one mode of existence that everything else is a pipe dream whether they actually realize it or not. And after writing all of that, Forbes beat me to it last year, but hey, at least I'm on the right track, no?
What I plan to do for the new year is simply this: continue building upon the framework I've been diligently working on for the last few years. Continue breaking down things that no longer serve me. Continue being patient concerning things that are way far off on the horizon until I can be sure about them (because I just may be right).
Specifically, here are some things going on for 2013 already and likely to persist indefinitely as I choose to stay in the Yo until further notice (graduation had better happen, dammit):
- graduating with a BA in Psychology and Religious Studies
- putting together Youngstown's first Gnostic and occult arts collective, and keeping it real as fuck
- maybe begin my search for a Dharma teacher. Maybe.
- continue my research with YSU and/or the psychiatrists
- continue working on my juju skills.
All of this in hopes that the fruits of these labors overflow into others areas that I am sucking in (and would likely make horribly misguided resolutions about): like not being so chickenshit in certain social situations (which I'm better about, but not god enough), creating an abundant livelihood, improve my community some, maybe even get married one day, and so on and so forth. The five items mentioned that I'm working on now also had their own set of mini-steps that I had to take control of and master a bit, both exo- and esoterically (for example: I dress a hell of a lot better and I can get things to manifest in the oddest of ways). It's about building blocks and wrecking balls.
So maybe my keeping on keeping on is a New Years resolution of sorts, but it's also one that I think makes all the more sense.
RO's Shit Works Out.And here's the other part of this: Shit Works Out. It does. It really does. 2012 (including the tail-end of 2011) was pretty much a shit storm for me, but everything worked out. True story; they really did all work out, and in ways that sometimes I couldn't even imagine possible. There were times where I'd be standing there, jaw dropped, and eyes bugged because things snapped into place when I thought that I had pretty much screwed myself. Other times, just the mere mention of "nice to haves" got results. Granted, that's a little frightening sometimes.
As R.O explains:
"The results we think we want scare the shit out of us when they show up and explain that, oh yeah, everything in your world is going to change now, and you don't know how it all ends for sure. It might all end badly! But it might all end awesomely too! Especially when you have invisible friends who help, secret occult practices that give you an advantage, and ready access to several kinds of alcohol."Like I said, it's frightening, but in the way that you're getting what you asked for, it's kicking holes in our conditioned perceptions of reality, and it means that the things you're used to (even if they suck) are going to change; your life is changing. Getting the results I want: it all freaks me the hell out sometimes. I'm still getting used to it. Sometimes I think, "Is that really possible?" Sure it is, and I wouldn't want any of that kind of weirdness to stop. Ever. And I'm going to enjoy it. And let me assure you, it's not like I've lived a crummy life, and things are picking up now; things have been working out for me since day one, but I'm just much more cognizant of it now. Sometimes, I look back at certain points in time and think, "Oh.. damn!"
Everything ends in fits of laughter with me anymore. Some friends have seen me hootin' and hollerin' out in public because the results I was looking for manifested within a couple of hours. I'm sure people think I've lost it.
But really, I'm just enjoying it all. Full immersion, and rolling with it.
And now I leave you with this (because I like it):
"And finally this question, the mystery of who's story it will be. Of who draws the curtain. Who is it that chooses our steps in the dance? Who drives us mad? Lashes us with whips and crowns us with victory when we survive the impossible? Who is it that does all of these things? Who honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time, sings that we will never die? Who teaches us what's real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us? And Who holds the key that can set us free? It's You. You have all the weapons you need."
- Sweet Pea, Sucker Punch